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BRING YOUR MAC, IT'S GETTING A BIT VILE IN HERE
Out of all the people I know, I am easily the least likely to become poorly, in the cold/flu/hang-nail sort of way. In terms of real illness, I am convinced that death is just around the corner. But for the second time this month, I have vomited. And it hasn't been from the demon alcohol in case that is the first thing that came into your mind. The first time was because I sat in hospital amongst thousands of plague/leprosy/ebola victims for nine hours. I challenge anyone to get out of that one alive. Then this last week I got food poisoning. Usually when I get food poisoning (I like to get it at least once a year just for the variety it adds to my life) it comes on full blast within the same day wham-bam-thank-you-maam. And next day, I'm as right as rain. But this time it was a whole new experience. This time it rolled into town like walrus on smack. Building each day. Bubbling and boiling in my guts until I started to get dizzy with the poisons slowly filling my insides. (Hope none of you are eating right about now) Problem was, I couldn't bring anything up. I writhered in pain for hours until I decided to try and entice vomit by doing some jogging and stretching. It didn't work until I started doing some sit-ups. That did it very first try. It was all I could do to hold it in until I got to the toilet. Then Wah! 'Projectile coming in over the port bow. sir'. Mind you, the only thing worse than projectile vomiting is having to clean it all up afterwards. So what was the culprit to my few days of personal hell? Oddly, it was carrot juice. So much for trying to be healthy.
UPDATE******UPDATE******UPDATE******UPDATE******UPYOURS******UPDATE******UPDATE******UPDATE
Seems there was some sort of manufacturer's recall on the very juice which made me spew orange, so I have been informed. Next time, I expect someone from the plant to knock on my door with this somewhat important news. Juice manufacturer, unlike myself, you have been warned.
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To date 11 Comment(s)
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(30.1.06 12:48)
You have my sympathies - really you do - that was just how I spent my weekend ....
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(30.1.06 12:49)
Oh - and my baked potato with just a little butter, salt and pepper is looking more than a little ambitious right now ....
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(30.1.06 13:14)
Thank you pog. I am fine now of course. I can even laugh about the orange vomit now. Sort of like being a cartoon character. Hope you are back on quality cuisine soon.
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(30.1.06 13:21)
It's the fact that the very idea of booze (and fags) is making me turn green that's really worrying me. Has this bug caused a complete character-change? It doesn't bear thinking about ....
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(30.1.06 22:28)
I like to get a bit of food poisoning every now and then. SOmetimes in foreign coutnries where the facilities (both personal and medical) are less accomodating. This year? chicken wings. They induced four days of gut roiling. The result? I am not generally in the mood for gingersnaps - they were the one ting I thought I coudl eat. Thought.
GLad you are feeling better fecky - and pog as well.
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(1.2.06 10:46)
This being healthy will be the end of you. I'd recommend going on a detox course as soon as possible. Start with a pepperoni pizza and move swiftly on to an undercooked chicken balti. Wash down with flat lager and your rehabilitation will be complete.
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(2.2.06 11:45)
Five whole days without projectile vomiting. And I haven't even joined a support group. Or had any carrot juice.
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(2.2.06 11:52)
Lucky you. I had my first night without being woken by the insistence of the contents of my stomach to be on the outside. Gah.
Shall we have our own support group, then? A support duo?
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